皮 卡 皮 卡 ________ vol.9

重返浦东大道1600号 - [>>>永恒复现]

我blog里有一个很不常用的文章分类，叫“永恒复现”。是高中的时候在杂志上看到的一篇文章的标题。这个分类专门用来存放一些我无法定义、却最重要最珍贵的情感。比如我的实验，我的浦东大道1600号。

听说五一期间门卫不拦人了，我便连续去了两天。先是和Jenny一起，然后又独自去了一趟。

这两天都是阴雨，没什么阳光，我的实验看似更加安宁而沧桑了。

勤思楼弥漫着不一样的气氛，进门的地方已经贴上了好几张“电脑培训”之类的海报。这里的确已经不属于我。

一楼楼梯转角的大镜子蒙上了尘，很陌生。

上楼。一股灰尘的味道。地上黑黑的，还有一些枯叶。

四楼一片空荡荡，门窗全开，桌椅全无。当然，这个状况已经保持很久了。自从我们离开。

食堂沉睡着，我是爬窗进去的。硬生生要打扰它。可是我太想念了，毫无办法。我还深刻地记得当初我们是坐在哪一排座位，考试、吃饭、再考试。那个看上去好像会塌的小舞台给了我们多少欢乐。

食堂外面的水槽早就干涸了，龙头也大都被拆掉，只剩下一两个。

操场已然成了一片草场，甚至给人森林的感觉。

各种小花小草肆无忌惮地生长蔓延，蜜蜂和小飞虫随意往来，甚至还有体型庞大的不知名鸟类。

足球门框只剩下锈迹斑斑，残破不堪。

曲径通幽。这是一直没有改变过的。

领操台失去了臂膀，成了红色砖块堆砌的尸体。

篮球场也没了活力，甚至被用来停车。

当然，篮架也早就废弃了。

高低杠只剩下两个，斑驳着，挣扎着。

记得小学毕业进实验的那年暑假一直是在求真楼上课。后来那里的天井被用来打羽毛球、排练课本剧、以及各种玩耍。

绕到楼后面，可以上到七楼的天台。

从前这里经常被封掉，因为我们一直想要跑上来玩。这里的确是很危险的，完全没有围栏之类的东西，很容易掉下去。以前我都不怕，甚至在假期里跑上来睡觉。但是今天，当我站在天台边缘往下张望，我突然好害怕，不敢再往前迈了。

我在操场边上被一只突然出现的猫吓到，不过似乎它也被我吓到了，跑走了。我们离开了以后，这里就是它们的天地了呢。

体操房上了锁，我去摆弄了好一会儿，用了点蛮力，竟然就开了。

简直就是工地，不堪入目。

清音楼锁得比较严，没能折腾进去。关于这幢楼一直有许多传说，很神秘。中一的时候我们都喜欢在废弃的一楼下棋，以及在放满了钢琴的二楼三楼偷懒、跑来跑去。

宿舍被封掉了。我只偷偷在里面住过一个晚上。

图书馆和教工食堂全是空荡荡，虽然之前也一直是人气不高。

新阶梯教室的后门没有锁，我们就在这里举行的毕业典礼。它现在的样子和当时没有多大差别。

这一趟下来，我弄了一身尘土、沾了一身小虫子。衬衫都汗湿了。总算是，把所有能进得去的地方都走了一遍，重温我在这里的六年。期间，我不断想念起各种各样遇到过的人和事。它们都那么清晰地浮现在眼前，甚至每一个细节。我自己都不知道，我可以记得那么清楚的。那么深刻。

这就是浦东大道1600号，我的实验。

以后就真的没有了，再也没有了，彻底从这个地球上消失了。我的成长、我的友情、我的懵懂、我的勇敢、我的初恋、我的良师、我的活力、我的纪念。

离开的时候我被三只野狗追着，很惊险。它们觉得我误闯了它们的地盘，凶狠无比。可是明明，明明我是属于这里的。谁都劝不动、赶不走。哪怕实验真的马上就要被夷为平地，我这些年的记忆也将一直伴随着这片土地，永远矗立，永远不倒。

父亲 - [>>>文字]

今天是父亲四十六岁生日。在我还未满二十岁的二零零九年四月二十六日。

父亲名“嘉猷”，应解释为“好的计划”。然而因为叔叔名“嘉言”，我从小便把它们连在一起，想当然地以为是“加油加盐”，心想还应该加糖吧。又或许是缘于爷爷有一手精湛厨艺，这解释还勉强说得过去。

我从小是母亲和爷爷奶奶带大的，很少见父亲。很奇怪，幼年时代的记忆里真的是完全没有父亲。我只是依稀了解父亲是做什么工作的，仅此而已，再无其他。大概是因为他实在太忙碌，与我的生物钟几乎背道而驰，再加上周末时候我必定是在爷爷奶奶家度过，我就真的不怎么有机会见到父亲，更不用说是交流了。
然而稍大些之后我却是与父亲更为亲热的，为此母亲相当愤慨，认为便宜全让父亲捡去了。她辛苦培养我，却被定下了“严厉”的罪名，从此与我不合。

我几乎不记得我们一家三口是否有一起出游的经历，只有爷爷书桌玻璃板下压着的一张照片可以作证说这样的经历的确是有的。那是一幅夜景，父母带着我站立于灯火通明的外滩。至于具体是去做什么，我是真的半点印象都没有。

再大些的时候父亲去了电视台工作，一开始是东视。那时候我应该还在读幼儿园。当然，对于“跳槽”之类的事情是概念全无。只知道东视会发很多一版版的贴纸给父亲，父亲便一并给了我。当时在幼儿园里每个小朋友有一个小柜子，每人都在柜子门上贴自己喜欢的贴纸做记号。人家贴些美少女啊奥特曼啊，我的柜子上就是一个大大的东视台标贴纸。

从幼儿园大班开始我的生活里多了练琴这件事。当然，仍然是母亲全权负责。这段时间里关于父亲的记忆更加零散，屈指可数。小学的回家作业备忘录上清一色是母亲的签名，只有极少数的时候是由父亲来签。他字迹狂野，我无法辨识。在这一阶段，我与母亲的冲突日益激烈，时而表现出来，时而隐藏在心。基本上都是由于练琴的事情吧。父亲倒好，越是不管教越是得我的喜欢，这一定更是叫母亲心里不平衡了吧。

三年级的时候父亲单位分房，我们举家迁往浦东。刚搬完家不久的时候有一次父母请了些亲友到家里吃饭，那是我家唯一一次正正式式摆好一桌菜请人一道聚餐。那天父亲似乎是做了许许多多平日里我不曾见过的菜色，叫我大开眼界。

搬到新家后有一阵我极力要求父亲戒烟，在家里的每扇门上都贴好“禁止吸烟”、“吸烟有害身体健康”等等的标语，甚至拿零花钱给他买戒烟药，把他的一整条烟藏进自己房间的柜子。当然，在我的这一阵热情过去后他照抽不误，我是相当气馁却丝毫办法也没有。最后那些标语日渐褪色、一张张地掉落了，也再也没有人去提戒烟这码事。

上初中后见到父亲的机会好像变多了，究其原因是我睡得一天比一天晚，于是总能在赶作业快要赶完的时候听到父亲的钥匙在门锁中转动的声响。他回家之后厨房里就不时会传来他的三两声咳嗽，之后是吸油烟机运作的轰响声，表明他开始抽烟。

父亲热爱西藏，至今似是已经去过六次。每次去，短则一两周、长则几个月。其实我根本不觉得他已经去过西藏六次之多，可能他的在家与不在家对于忙于功课的我来说就是那钥匙转动声、咳嗽声以及吸油烟机的轰鸣声的存在与否。要么就是周末了。上中学之后我并非每周都去爷爷奶奶那里度周末了，频率逐渐减为只有寒暑假去住一住，最后变成一年里面只碰为数不多的几次面。在父亲有空的周末里，一家三口会一起去看望爷爷奶奶。最高兴的当数太太。她会极力挽留我住下，跟她一起睡，叫我讲故事给她听——那是从小的模式。(待续)

我复活了 - [>>>生活]

我回来了！我复活了！这次干活真的是女人当男人用、男人当畜生用了！扩音录音，控到一半我竟然睡着了。。。太可怕了。。。那硕大的地方就我一个女的，对讲机里人家都叫名字的，叫我就是“小姑娘~”好好好吧，随便了。。。

老外录音师真的很牛逼，他中文实在太好，都不习惯了。他学起天线宝宝那个像啊！神似啊！简直可怕了！牛逼牛逼，没办法。。。

每天的感觉就是累死了饿死了，现在基本缓过来了。啦啦啦~我复活了~

九十九次我爱他 少了头发会分岔→错比啊！ - [>>>图片]

大家来找茬！

标题与内容完全无关。。。那是隔壁店里某首出现率极其高的超级无敌雷歌的歌词。。。

啊呀呀碧云烟真的超级难抽！就是颜色好看了点。。。这真是很春天的配色呐。。。（我是用句号代替省略号大王！）

Everything is returning to the starting point. - [>>>文字]

So clearly I remember the yearly trip of my junior high school. It was in Hangzhou, midnight, about 2 a.m. Jenny and I kept awake in order to watch a Formular One Grandprix, while Evol and the other girl(opps I forgot which one) felt asleep quikly after the beginning of the game.

I told Jenny that I had payed much attention to a driver called Jenson Button, who was British, had fantastic blue eyes and a sexy smile. She was curious, and during the rest of the night I told her more about Jenson while we watched him drive his white-and-red Honda racing car.

I almost forgot the result of that Grandprix, but I still remember clearly that Jenny fell in love with Jenson shortly afterwards. We two good friends started chasing after him, watching his every single race and bought lots of stuff concerning him.

About half a year later, our school took us to Shaoxin, as another school trip. On the way there Jenny told me a senior-two student called Helio was anxious to get to know me. He asked lots about me, including my love affair which was actually a gossip. I was so astonished and infatuated that I made a wrong decision--which seemed nothing big at that time--I sent him a short message myself telling him that he had mistaken me. Then we started to chat merrily through short messages. I noticed Jenny wasn't so happy about this, however, I didn't know why.

Frankly speaking, we did not have much to talk about. The only thing I found was that he, too, loved Formular One races. (But now the more I think of this, the more I feel he pretended it.) Very naturally I told him I liked Jenson, and he promised to bring me a necklace with Jenson's name on it. At that moment, I was sure of his motive in approaching me.

Just like what I had expected, he became my boyfriend after the school trip. What I did not expect was that our short-lived romance would make me suffer so much, even until today.

My crazy days for Jenson ended up early, at about one or two years ago. From then on I stopped watching any sports games, not only because of my lack of passion but also because my lack of time. I couldn't avoid hearing news about Jenson sometimes, I just didn't care much. He sufferred a lot too, so he wasn't doing very good in his races. He broke up with his girlfriend in those hard years also. There certainly were times that I really think of him, think of my old days, and the days when I chatted with Helio about Jenson. Afterall, that didn't mean anything to me anymore.

Talking about my friend Jenny, we became a little remote after we entered high school. I had no idea whether she still remained passionate towards Jenson or not. We had so little time to be together. Sometimes I feel guilty for not having been in contact with her since we graduated, it was my fault I think.

So you can imagine how excited and proud I was when I heard Jenson won the Australian Grandprix last week. To add to my joy, he continued to perform perfect in this week's race, which really amazed me. I logged on his official forum today and found my friends still there, congratulating him, eventually, after six years of waiting. I couldn't stop but though of the days in 2004 and 2005, when we all designed birthday presents for Jenson, in our own languages and own words, putting in our heart and soul. We talked about everything, sometimes I even tought them easy Chinese phrases. It was really happy memory, and refreshing this part of it still made me feel good.

I thought of Helio again and again. The day I first told him about Jenson feels just like yesterday, and no one can figure out how time flies. I admit that our romance was somewhat ridiculous, but I just couln't get rid of it anymore. I used to think my naive love in him was just a part of an unsuccessful relationship, but now I've began to believe that this wound will never have a chance to heal, even if both of us have another and a better one to be in love with. The 14-year-old puppy love remains nonerasble, perhaps it will always stick to me in the rest of my life. This sounds so pathetic, but I just can't do a thing to it.